The Parlance of our Times...

"It's Britney, bitch."

That computer-generated badass assertion (a line from Britney Spears' new single "Gimme More") kicked off the 2007 MTV Video Music Awards on September 9 and told audiences to watch out. Britney was back.

Obviously we all know how that turned out.

If anything positive can come out of Britney's disastrous comeback performance at the show and subsequent downward trajectory, it's a new colloquialism.

I'm hereby proposing that "Britneybitch" be added to modern vocabulary.

Britneybitch — verb
1. to exercise a misguided attempt at a comeback, thereby ruining any chances of said renaissance;
2. to set outrageously high expectations for oneself and then fail to live up to, really, any expectations at all

Example: "The New York Mets really Britneybitched their playoff chances toward the end of the season."

"Gimme More" is undeniably catchy, and it's tearing up the charts even as Britney continues to reach new lows every day in her personal life. But after the promising, cheer-inducing "Britney, bitch" introduction, raised eyebrows gave way to stunned silence and eventual guffawing among Britney's peers at the show, and in homes across America.

With one exception.

One might say MTV Britneybitched its attempt to revitalize the slumping awards program by relying on an (alleged) drug-abusing basket case to open the broadcast.

Trust me, it'll catch on.